My five loaves and two fishes

December 17th 2014,

14 days to go before the year of 2014 is over. Less than 15 days before the deadline of my Final Assignment's draft collecting. And it's only about 1 month left before i know my 'fate' here in Teknik Lingkungan ITS Surabaya, as a college student.

Hectic? Yes!!! Superb!!! It feels like the time run so fast, leave me behind with so many task to do.
Feel fear? I won't say i have no fear to face it all. I fear of failure. I fear i can't face the next test well.
But, for feel worry??? BIG NO!! Because, I need no worry for Jesus is walk in my side. No worry, because i know my Jesus has bigger plans fo my future. No worry, because i know my Jesus is BIGGER than all of my worries. I put my trust in Him. I put my dreams, my hope, my ambition, my worries, and everything i have in Him.

Three days ago, in Christmas Celebration of the GBKP's youth, i heard a song by Corrinne May, 'Five Loaves and Two Fishes'. It is a song about trusting God for everything. The song show the faith of a kid with innocent heart to give his all to Jesus. He trust Jesus can do miracles with a little things he give for the 5000 of peoples. And Jesus didnt dissapoint him. He do miracle!

Back to me. I feel fear to face the future. I'm too affraid of failure. I'm afraid, if i fail in the last test. I dont know, whether i can face it or no. I know it was my ego make me feel like this. I feel fear for fear, because my ego forbid me to fail. But, deep in my heart i don't want thing like that. I just want  a brave, a happiness, and a joy, so i can face for whatever i face later. Maybe it was not my very best, but i have try my best. I have try to give the best from me to finish my Final Assignment.



I have give my five loaves and two fishes. It's all up to You, God. Every tears i have is a diamond in Your hand. For every door slams in front of me, means the better door will open by You. Your will, will be my will. Fill my heart with Your joy, oh Lord so i can face my live with smile and hope. So i can always say 'thank you'. So i can always be grateful in my life.

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